9/24/10

There is still so much I want to get out of Dubai. So many places to see, foods to try, culture to experience. I’ve only been here what, ten days? But a majority of this time has been spent hiding out. My confession is that I’m slightly paralyzed.

Simple tasks of finding food or new locations leave me panicked and wanting to retreat. I find strange solitude in the familiar routines of getting ready for bed or studying for an assignment. This is such a frustrating thing for me to experience! This cowardly, uncomfortable, slightly meek looking character is nothing like the outgoing, adventurous Chelci I left back home. It’s understandable to feel this way at first I suppose, so I’m trying not to be too hard on myself. At this same time though, I didn’t come here to hide in my dorm room for three months. With that thought in mind, I bought a dhow cruise ticket for Monday night.

I’m so used to jumping from place to place, tasting a bit of something here, snapping a photo of something there. I have trouble staying in one place for too long -as most people who know me well already realize. I think that might be where the trouble of my current situation comes into play. Just the mental state of knowing I’m here for another 12 and a half weeks brings forth a whole range of emotion I didn’t know I had. I don’t think ‘trapped’ is the word I’m looking for to describe it, but something in the likeness of that direction.

I will tough this out and come out stronger because of it. I’m sure there are many hurdles and obstacles still to be conquered, but I’m here for a reason! Sometimes I will be scared, uncomfortable, overwhelmed (or all of the above in this past week’s case…), but I’ll get over it.

This week has been a real reality check, to say the least. I’m looking forward to coming home for Christmas SO, SO MUCH –but I’m not going to keep it from letting me enjoy my time and the adventures awaiting me here. Classes will probably get crazy, situations will still get uncomfortable, but I’ll be okay. This experience is what I make of it and if I can turn it around and maintain a positive perspective, I’m sure I will begin to enjoy my stay.

So please continue to keep me in your prayers! It’s been a pretty difficult adjustment for me so far. Hopefully some exciting updates to come!